these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
