my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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