I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
