No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
