the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
