Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I love having hate sex.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
