doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
