I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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