dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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