His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
