Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
