Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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