Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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