Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
