At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
