I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
