he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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