yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
