yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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