why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
