There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
