I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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