Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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