New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
