dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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