No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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