69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize