So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
