no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
