2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
