I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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