im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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