I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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