She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
