are you still at the devil's house?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize