69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
