Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
