maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
