Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
