I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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