Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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