You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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