You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
