we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
