he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Houston, we have a squirter
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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