New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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