Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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