The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
