She is in my trunk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
