I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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