It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize