The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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