i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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