just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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