HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
