and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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