bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
