She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
