Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
