Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
