I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
