Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
