you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I puked a lego.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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